To my oldest son who turned 10 in July. I cannot believe that 9 years ago we were celebrating your 1st birthday after returning home from Russia with you a mere month earlier. You are my hero. You have endured more hardships in your young life than many will in a lifetime and you approach them with willingness, trust (in your dad and I) and with the most beautiful smile and optimism.
We are often reminded by others that you, my son, were blessed to come to live here with us. Leaving behind the uncertain life that faced you in Russia. I would contend, however, that we have been far more blessed in our life as your parents.
Because of you, my son, I know what bravery looks like. How encouragement should be delivered. How we should celebrate our small victories as much as the large ones. That a hug and a smile can brighten the dullest of days and that giving up is never an option. I look forward to what God has planned for you in the year to come and beyond. You are a treasure!!
Monday, August 10, 2009
What I know....
my life is often like a circus
my children are wonderful and I learn a lot from them
I have a husband who is patient and loves me as I am
That if I'm constantly planning the future, I might miss the beauty of today
I may be 41 but I wake each day feeling 18 (but thankfully wiser)
Contentment is a tough place to hang out but it's easier when I take a deep breath and am still
God is always good, always present and loves me (the bible tells me so)
That I have been blessed beyond measure and given more than I could ever have dreamt of in my life
my children are wonderful and I learn a lot from them
I have a husband who is patient and loves me as I am
That if I'm constantly planning the future, I might miss the beauty of today
I may be 41 but I wake each day feeling 18 (but thankfully wiser)
Contentment is a tough place to hang out but it's easier when I take a deep breath and am still
God is always good, always present and loves me (the bible tells me so)
That I have been blessed beyond measure and given more than I could ever have dreamt of in my life
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
In Memory...
Abigail was born prematurely to Scott and I while we were in Russia adopting our oldest. She was, in fact, born almost 10 months to the day after our oldest in the same hospital in Orenburg, Russia. The first American to ever be born there. The six days following her birth were a whirlwind of phone calls and arrangements as we prepared to bring her home via a jet from Children's Medical Center Dallas. Scott had to go to Moscow to the American Embassy and get a passport for Abigail. He went on Wednesday and didn't make his flight back in time so he had to stay on Thursday too. He arrived in Orenburg around midnight on Thursday. We came back to the apartment to pack and prepare for the Medical Jet from Children's was coming on Friday. We were going to be leaving that day and Abigail would be flown back to Dallas and arrive here from Russia on Saturday.
We awoke that morning with mixed feelings as we were excited to be bringing her back to a country where conversations with the doctor didn't require a translator but with a measure of sadness as we faced leaving our son in the orphanage and returning for him in several months. It was the most difficult decision I ever faced and I was so torn.
On Friday morning, our translator, lawyer and driver came into our apartment and said nothing. I instantly knew that Abigail had died. In that moment the Lord provided great clarity and decisions were made. We received such an outpouring of love from those around us. Men and women who didn't know us 2 weeks before showed us kindness, compassion and love as we went through an amazingly devestating situation. We now found ourselves halfway around the world, without our parents or family and making arrangements for our deceased daughter. There are too many details to go into here but suffice it to say that God became real through the hands of so many people.
As I write this today, the memories are as real as they were the day they happened. Nine years ago today, my sweet daughter Abigail went home to be with Jesus. She was six days old and beautiful. She accomplished a great many things on this earth in her brief time. There is a measure of sadness at not having my daughter by my side but the overwhelming feeling that a beautiful little girl is spending time with our Savior this very day and that we will be reunited one day.
Living the Christian life is not easy, it is full of joy and struggles but God is always present and always good and our joy is in Him.
Today is not the easiest of days but I approach it full of joy at what God has given to me and full of the knowledge that He is good all the time. Amen.
We awoke that morning with mixed feelings as we were excited to be bringing her back to a country where conversations with the doctor didn't require a translator but with a measure of sadness as we faced leaving our son in the orphanage and returning for him in several months. It was the most difficult decision I ever faced and I was so torn.
On Friday morning, our translator, lawyer and driver came into our apartment and said nothing. I instantly knew that Abigail had died. In that moment the Lord provided great clarity and decisions were made. We received such an outpouring of love from those around us. Men and women who didn't know us 2 weeks before showed us kindness, compassion and love as we went through an amazingly devestating situation. We now found ourselves halfway around the world, without our parents or family and making arrangements for our deceased daughter. There are too many details to go into here but suffice it to say that God became real through the hands of so many people.
As I write this today, the memories are as real as they were the day they happened. Nine years ago today, my sweet daughter Abigail went home to be with Jesus. She was six days old and beautiful. She accomplished a great many things on this earth in her brief time. There is a measure of sadness at not having my daughter by my side but the overwhelming feeling that a beautiful little girl is spending time with our Savior this very day and that we will be reunited one day.
Living the Christian life is not easy, it is full of joy and struggles but God is always present and always good and our joy is in Him.
Today is not the easiest of days but I approach it full of joy at what God has given to me and full of the knowledge that He is good all the time. Amen.
Abigail Marie Cornell
May 20, 2000 - May 26, 2000
Monday, April 27, 2009
Fun...
Heard around our house yesterday:
"What is a cocktail?"
Kid 2 - 8 years old "It's something in the ocean, right? You know, like a shrimp cocktail." which was followed with lots of laughter and a trip to the dictionary to see all of the definitions.
A devotion about confession, forgivenss and grace using The Prodigal Son as the example. What made it better were the answers and insights that three little boys bring. Priceless!!
Starting our Monday with thunderstorms, drawing and charades. What a way to start our "work week".
Hope your week is full of fun moments.
"What is a cocktail?"
Kid 2 - 8 years old "It's something in the ocean, right? You know, like a shrimp cocktail." which was followed with lots of laughter and a trip to the dictionary to see all of the definitions.
A devotion about confession, forgivenss and grace using The Prodigal Son as the example. What made it better were the answers and insights that three little boys bring. Priceless!!
Starting our Monday with thunderstorms, drawing and charades. What a way to start our "work week".
Hope your week is full of fun moments.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Happy Birthday...
To my middle son. Today he is eight and an absolute delight. He is filled with curiosity, eagerness and a heart for the Lord.
I say this all the time but I often feel that I have gained a much better perspective of my relationship with the Lord by having children. They challenge me with their words of piercing truth. Their innocent questions of extreme depth and their ability to love me despite all of my faults. They look to me for guidance and I often find myself being led by them. How amazing that God would provide me with such a humbling and educational experience rolled up in the sweet gaze of my children.
I am extremely blessed to be a mom to them and I know I've been entrusted with a great treasure.
How thankful I am for my middle son and how I look forward to seeing what God will do in his life. If his years thus far and the sheer volume of lessons he has taught me are any indication, I am prepared for an exciting adventure.
Today I will be hugging them all, but squeezing my middle son a little tighter as he moves a little further in his race (Hebrews 12:1). May he experience the love of Christ daily and may I be an example of His love and grace in my days with him.
I say this all the time but I often feel that I have gained a much better perspective of my relationship with the Lord by having children. They challenge me with their words of piercing truth. Their innocent questions of extreme depth and their ability to love me despite all of my faults. They look to me for guidance and I often find myself being led by them. How amazing that God would provide me with such a humbling and educational experience rolled up in the sweet gaze of my children.
I am extremely blessed to be a mom to them and I know I've been entrusted with a great treasure.
How thankful I am for my middle son and how I look forward to seeing what God will do in his life. If his years thus far and the sheer volume of lessons he has taught me are any indication, I am prepared for an exciting adventure.
Today I will be hugging them all, but squeezing my middle son a little tighter as he moves a little further in his race (Hebrews 12:1). May he experience the love of Christ daily and may I be an example of His love and grace in my days with him.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Prolonging the inevitable
Ok. We all know that whenever there is a schedule to be followed, something that needs accomplishing or, we're in a hurry, that it invariably prompts the best, most complicated questions from our children.
So it was this day when we were trying to prepare for bed. I was helping my boys get themselves into the shower when such a moment arose. My son looked at me and asked a question about something that makes him uniquely male. No, I'm not talking about his ability to think entirely different than me but rather something a bit more fundamental.
Ok, now that you know where we're going, the conversation went a little like this. "Mom, what is this part called?" I respond with the appropriate name thinking I've handled that well. And then, I hear, "Mom what is is for and what is in there?" Sigh.
Again, I provide a reasonable response and give the most generic answer I can, "It's part of the man's reproductive system." Ok, now I'm beginning to feel like I'm at a tennis match. Unfortunately, the volley continues. I just want him to get himself in the shower so we can move forward. But here comes the ball again.
"But mom, what does it do?"
I've a feeling this is going to continue for a long time so I take the tack that any parent would or perhaps should, "That is a good question but this is not the best time to talk about that. Let's get finished in the shower and we can discuss it another time."
Ok, I brace myself for another question, or a response I'm not ready to deal with and I hear, "Mom, was it a scientific question?" I look at my son's face and it is lit up with anticipation of my response and I tell him, "Yes, it was a very scientific question." He is now beaming, climbs in the shower and goes about his business.
I am now trying not to laugh too loudly, breath to heavily or allow my children to hear me praising God too loudly. Here I was waiting for a question answer session that could perhaps be neverending and my sweet son simply wants to know if it was a "scientific question". Amazing.
I know there are times that the Lord has things for me to do and sometimes, just like my kids, I'm not ready to or just don't want to so I hope to prolong the inevitable with distractions. How often do I barrage the Lord with questions in my prayer life and fail to listen to what He is saying? I may not be seeking explanations about how things "work" but I come to Him seeking answers when it's not where He wants me to be.
Why is it that my children can be so much more gracious than I? My son was getting the gentle nudge toward what I had planned for him and rather than get angry or try to continue, he simply wanted a little verbal pat on the back as he went about his way.
Unfortunately, I don't always proceed so quietly when I am gently nudged to the plans the Lord has for me. I'm ashamed to admit that I sometimes go kicking and screaming.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Jeremiah 29:10-12
The Lord loves us and does have plans for us. We may not always want to step out and do what He wants us to do but He wants us to. And, if we listen closely, I'm quite convinced that He is gently nudging us and saying, "That was a great question but let's do this first and talk about that later." I know I've heard Him say it to me. It is my prayer that I can be as gracious as my children, accept the gentleness and trust my Father as he points me in the right direction.
Amen.
So it was this day when we were trying to prepare for bed. I was helping my boys get themselves into the shower when such a moment arose. My son looked at me and asked a question about something that makes him uniquely male. No, I'm not talking about his ability to think entirely different than me but rather something a bit more fundamental.
Ok, now that you know where we're going, the conversation went a little like this. "Mom, what is this part called?" I respond with the appropriate name thinking I've handled that well. And then, I hear, "Mom what is is for and what is in there?" Sigh.
Again, I provide a reasonable response and give the most generic answer I can, "It's part of the man's reproductive system." Ok, now I'm beginning to feel like I'm at a tennis match. Unfortunately, the volley continues. I just want him to get himself in the shower so we can move forward. But here comes the ball again.
"But mom, what does it do?"
I've a feeling this is going to continue for a long time so I take the tack that any parent would or perhaps should, "That is a good question but this is not the best time to talk about that. Let's get finished in the shower and we can discuss it another time."
Ok, I brace myself for another question, or a response I'm not ready to deal with and I hear, "Mom, was it a scientific question?" I look at my son's face and it is lit up with anticipation of my response and I tell him, "Yes, it was a very scientific question." He is now beaming, climbs in the shower and goes about his business.
I am now trying not to laugh too loudly, breath to heavily or allow my children to hear me praising God too loudly. Here I was waiting for a question answer session that could perhaps be neverending and my sweet son simply wants to know if it was a "scientific question". Amazing.
I know there are times that the Lord has things for me to do and sometimes, just like my kids, I'm not ready to or just don't want to so I hope to prolong the inevitable with distractions. How often do I barrage the Lord with questions in my prayer life and fail to listen to what He is saying? I may not be seeking explanations about how things "work" but I come to Him seeking answers when it's not where He wants me to be.
Why is it that my children can be so much more gracious than I? My son was getting the gentle nudge toward what I had planned for him and rather than get angry or try to continue, he simply wanted a little verbal pat on the back as he went about his way.
Unfortunately, I don't always proceed so quietly when I am gently nudged to the plans the Lord has for me. I'm ashamed to admit that I sometimes go kicking and screaming.
For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.Jeremiah 29:10-12
The Lord loves us and does have plans for us. We may not always want to step out and do what He wants us to do but He wants us to. And, if we listen closely, I'm quite convinced that He is gently nudging us and saying, "That was a great question but let's do this first and talk about that later." I know I've heard Him say it to me. It is my prayer that I can be as gracious as my children, accept the gentleness and trust my Father as he points me in the right direction.
Amen.
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Happy birthday to you!!
My youngest turned 6 yesterday. He's a big boy and has run around the house telling me that he can't wait until he's 19. I suck in air, and try not to watch as his life flies by.
What is it about all of us that makes us wish for the next milestone? Why is contentment such a hard thing?
I would like to believe that it's only my children who struggle with this but I would be lying. Contentment is often elusive but can be grasped when a concious effort is made, on my part.
For today, I will try to revel in my youngest sons new grown-up status and try desperately to enjoy every last second of 6.
May you find contentment in your life today.
What is it about all of us that makes us wish for the next milestone? Why is contentment such a hard thing?
I would like to believe that it's only my children who struggle with this but I would be lying. Contentment is often elusive but can be grasped when a concious effort is made, on my part.
For today, I will try to revel in my youngest sons new grown-up status and try desperately to enjoy every last second of 6.
May you find contentment in your life today.
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